Some days are just so. good.
Life is seriously crazy. It is so easy to get bogged down in the everyday. Work, school, babies, dating. Whatever it is. You keep on going task to task to task, there’s just A LOT of it.
Yesterday was a chance to unplug from all the crazy busy stress and reconnect with the most amazing group of ladies. These girls are my tribe. We grew up together, with big dreams and typical dramatic boy troubles.
Any small towners out there? Growing up in Blackstone has it’s advantages, like knowing your classmates your entire life. Well, I suppose that depends on your high school experience. But for me, it’s considered an advantage. For most of this squad, we’ve seriously been together since we were old enough to sell Girl Scout cookies.
Life after high school sent us all in different directions, occasional meet ups over holidays, but it wasn’t until about 4 years ago that we committed to an annual holiday get together. After each one my heart is so full. It is clear that these are my people. We laugh all afternoon and shed the occasional tear. Whether from grief or stress or laughter, one thing is clear – there is support all around. Like an invisible network of rigging and suspension, we are tied together for life.
Finding your Tribe
Maybe your high school experience wasn’t all that you’d like to remember. Your tribe doesn’t have to be traced back to elementary school. What matters most is that they can root down deep in your heart. Maybe you talk every day, maybe you talk once a year. But when you do it is clear:
- there is no judgement
- there is support
- there is love
- there is pride for the things you have accomplished and the battles you have overcome
Eyes canvasing the room at the people around you and your heart feels at home. I don’t think I could describe what it feels like any other way.
Don’t feel like you have a tribe? Sometimes it takes a while to find those people who build you up. That help make you a better you. Evaluate your squad(s). Sometimes your happiness is a matter of reducing your interaction with toxic people. Find the ones that build you up. Sometimes, you’re the toxic person and you need to stop being a d*ck. Evaluating the squad includes yourself.
Just make it happen
Who knew getting 8 people in a room together one day a year could be so dang hard, but it is. Do you have a tribe but see them so little?
Just make it happen.
In 2016 I resolved to be better about making plans and sticking to them. Though I’ve had my share of speed bumps in the resolution, I’d evaluate my performance at 75% better.
The key? Someone wants to make plans to hang out…the day is set that moment and scheduled in the calendar. No excuses. No conflicts. If you want to spend time with someone, just saying so is not going to cut it. Just make. it. happen.
An afternoon of wine and snacks and love
Each holiday season there is an afternoon of wine and snack and love. Though our lives are incredibly different than they were just a short 4 years ago, we make it happen. Whether before or after the actual holidays. There’s going to be a day to convene the entire tribal council, a reminder for why it’s a beautiful thing to have caring people in your life.
There are awesome snacks (a new recipe coming soon as a result of this year!), there are alcoholic beverages for those who need some ‘mom juice’ and of course the annual ornament exchange. Admittedly, I 100% completely forgot to buy an ornament for…we aim for perfection but occasionally we miss. It’s ok, there’s always next time. Each year when we decorate the tree, I have a little reminder of the wonderful, super-hero-strong women who support me. We grew up strong girls and became strong women who have strong babies.
Literally, this is the village.
And it take a village to not just to raise a child, but to keep us sane and motivated and resilient in our everyday struggles as adults.`
If you are still finding your tribe, don’t stress. It’s a long beautiful life, fill it with good people. If you have a tribe, love them fiercely. Let them know it. Make plans to see them, even if it’s just a FaceTime session. You will walk away feeling more self-assured, loved, and empowered. And the world could certainly use more of that.